THERE ARE SOME THINGS that are just worth the carbs...

Sorry I've been so MIA -- there's been a lot going on personally with me, that I am sure I will share in due time, but for now, my sincere apologies for leaving everyone hanging! Anyway, I'm back and I'm going to try to be better :)

With diabetes, you are constantly doing little calculations. Yes, you heard it correctly. We are constantly counting how many carbohydrates are in foods to add up our total carb intake for a meal -- no joke! This is something we just have to do to eat -- we need to make sure we allot the correct dosage of insulin for the amount of carbs that we are consuming-- and this doesn’t even count the math required if we are below our target blood sugar range, or above it -- then even more math comes into play. Luckily, with my pump, the only math I need to worry about is counting, and good thing, because that's the math that I can still actually do easily.

But enough about math. For the most part, I do try to eat healthier and eat foods that aren’t as high in carbohydrates. BUT there are certain times, and certain foods that are just worth the carbs. As in, they are worth a little cheat to be able to enjoy. Now most people refer to cheat meals as breaking their diet. My cheat meal is a little different. For me, a cheat is when I really need to dial up my insulin to enjoy something extra delicious and extra not good for me. Most recently, my cheat came when I needed to dial up my dose to shoot for a slice of cheesecake to celebrate my 1 year wedding anniversary with my husband. I mean, that sounds worth it, right?! How can I turn down my favorite cheesecake with my favorite person celebrating such a great thing?! NO WAY! I also cheated again a few days later to eat our one year old wedding cake (sugar free carrot cake with some sort of buttercream frosting that the baker experimented a bunch on to try to use less sugar). Surprisingly, even after a year in the freezer, it was still super yummy. So maybe I do cheat more than I thought...but hey, whatever it takes to enjoy life just a little more!

Some foods in life are just worth shooting for. Here are my top foods that I will shoot tons of insulin for and not care one bit about it!

• Belltown or Colony pizza -- If you’re from Stamford, CT you know what I’m talking about! Yes, these are really specific pizzas ha but everyone has their favorite pizza spot! On the beetus front, pizza really messes with my numbers, as I’m sure it does for many of you! I hate risking not feeling so great for a not AMAZING pizza. So I stick to what I know, but man, when I go for it - I GO FOR IT. Like a whole small pizza to myself :)

• A double egg and cheese on a hard roll -- I mean come on, ya can’t beat it. I won’t go for a bagel but man, I miss ‘em. Speaking of bagels, have you had the Everything but the Bagel seasoning from Trader Joes? If not, GO GET IT. It’s literally exactly the name - I sprinkle it on toast and bam, it’s like I’m having my favorite everything bagel!

• Cheesecake -- NY style baby! I just love it so much that if I see it on a menu, it’s not likely I’m turning it down!

• Carrot cake -- same as above - especially if it’s fall. Matthew's Bakery in Stamford has my all time favorite carrot cake, go get that too.

• Hot Fries -- yes, those Andy Cap delicious yet disgusting snacks. I could easily eat the entire bag but really need to hold myself back. Luckily I can only find them at gas stations so I don’t eat them that often but when I find them, I’m all in.

• Truffle pasta -- oh it’s just so creamy and delicious. This I can absolutely not turn down. Anywhere. But my favorite place is this restaurant a few towns over; they don’t have it on the menu anymore but when Mark and I went for our anniversary, they didddd let us order it off menu which was amazing.

• Penn State Creamery Ice Cream -- shout out to my college days! Can’t turn down creamery ice cream! If you’ve never had it, plan a trip to PSU- it is so worth it.

These are my top cheats, yet there are still some items that I just won’t do.

• Bagels -- the cravings I’ve had for bagels is so insane it’s actually funny. As I mentioned above, I really miss bagels, but the thing is, I know they’ll go down tasting great but then leave me flying high for hours later, and likely not keep me satisfied for a long enough period of time. I recently did have a mini bagel, which kind of hit the spot, but the issue was when I finished the mini bagel, I just wanted another one…

• Red sour patch kids or sour cherries -- these were my #1 all time favorite candy hands down, pre-beetus that is. So much so that my friends would buy me 5lbs bags of sour cherries for my birthday and it would literally be my favorite gift. I haven’t had these since diagnosis because I know I just won’t be able to stop myself from eating them and these are honestly pure sugar. My mouth is watering a little thinking of their sweet sour taste...

Regardless, everyone deserves a cheat once in a while, and who knows, maybe I will eat a bagel one of these days! I’ve learned that I really can’t hold myself back from the things I really want to eat because it’s just not worth it. If my body were functioning properly, I would eat all of these things and not have a second thought about it. But since my pancreas is broken, I not only have second thoughts about things I eat, but I sometimes continue thinking about it hours later while my blood sugar is climbing mountains, and then continue to think about it until it comes back down. Was it really worth it in the end? It always is.

What are some of your cheat meals?!