When I was first diagnosed with diabetes I, of course, started with insulin pens. I definitely think this was the best way to start as it really helped me understand insulin to carb ratios but man, it was NOT fun having to do math to be able to eat! I always needed to have a calculator on hand to figure out the correct dosing. How do you figure out dosing you may ask? Well, for example, if your carb ratio for breakfast is 1unit (U) of insulin for every 15g of carb, and you’re having a meal with 55g of carbs, you need to give yourself 3.67U of insulin.
55g / 15g = 3.67U
Though it was a struggle at first, I got used to it, but I recall it always being a lot to remember to do - make sure you shoot the lantus (long acting insulin -- this would be used to cover my 'baseline' - ie. keep me in a good range all day) in the evening - I think that’s when I did it...see look I can’t even remember as it is HA - injecting before every meal, remembering to snack during the day (15g!), figuring out the correction if high / low and adjusting the food bolus based on those numbers (bolus - insulin you give yourself to cover your meal carbohydrates) -- it was a lot then and as I type it, it still sounds like a lot now! It worked for a while, but I really felt like I didn’t have as much control as I wanted -- I felt like diabetes was controlling me, and I was just letting it. I hated the struggle of going out to dinner and being in a dress, and having to excuse myself to shoot up in the bathroom because I couldn't access my stomach without giving everyone a show. Even if I wasn't in a dress, it's not exactly fun to pull out needles at the dinner table and having to inject myself while people are literally staring at you. I'd often make comments like "yep, just gotta shoot up now because I'm high" -- man, I would get so many looks, but I found it hilarious. It wasn’t until my endocrinologist introduced me to the pump -- probably about 4 months in - that I realized how much more flexibility I could have with this new device.
At first, I was nervous. So this pump thing was going to be attached to me? Like, all the time?? Where do I put it?? How do I sleep with it?? Does it hurt to put on? How do I hide it? Will people notice it?? Wait but really I have to wear it all the time?
I AM BIONIC.
The questions were endless, but the main thing was, how the hell do I work this contraption?! Luckily, being in the technology age, getting used to the buttons and features wasn’t the hard part. The hard part was figuring out how to get the insulin into the reservoir without getting any air bubbles and having the plunger work with you, not against you. I swear when I was with the Medtronic rep, it was so simple - easypeasy, piece of cake. But as soon as I was on my own at home, without a rep to help -- HOLY HELL -- it was bad. I remember my first infusion set change and sitting with my mom crying still trying to figure it out after 45 minutes. I finally had to call the Medtronic help center to walk me through the entire process (they are GREAT by the way). It was a nightmare. It would take me at least 30 minutes to get my set in which is crazy! But everything gets better, and easier with practice. Now it takes just a couple of minutes to get everything done. I’m much more of a pro now :)
I absolutely love my pump and I love the flexibility it provides. Sure it has its downfalls. I’m basically walking around with my pancreas hanging out -- and for people who don’t know it’s a pump, man do I get a lot of questions asking if it’s a beeper! Come on guys, who still uses a beeper (what even is a beeper anyway HA)?! But, this is better for me than the insulin pens. I am sometimes self conscious -- honestly not about it being seen, but the way it makes me look. This sounds bad, but I don’t really mean it in a bad way. The main place I put my pump is in my bra strap...on the side. So it causes an extra protrusion out of my shirt and it sometimes makes me feel wider than I am, which I hateeeee. But hey, I'll take it! There are worse things! Sometimes I’ll just stick it in my back pocket, but obviously can only do that when I’m wearing pants. Then I just have to be careful and make sure my tubing doesn’t get stuck on anything -- like a door knob -- ouch!
I haven’t gone back to the pens since I’ve been on my pump, but I’m sure I’ll take a pump vacation one of these days and go back to the pens for a little. But for now, this works for me. No shame in my pump game.
Here's to being bionic - I don't hate it!
For reference: When I talk about infusion sets and resevoirs -- these are what I'm talking about!
Thanks for sharing your journey with us!